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Paul J Easton asked:




So the question you have is how to help someone with depression? The first thing you need to understand is the illness itself. Most people realize that depression is a mental illness. But what they don’t realize is that depression affects much more then just their mind. It also affects relationships with loved ones, work as well as their own body. You can probably recognize when someone you are close to isn’t just themselves.

Since depression is very difficult to identify as well as cure, you must understand that only a medical professional can help a person overcome it. There are some basic symptoms to look for. If you see a loved one suffering from more then 3 of the following items for longer then a week, then the person might be depressed.

Read everything that you can about the illness. How can you help someone with depression if you don’t know anything about it. After you read up of everything you can get your hands will be better suited to help. Just remember, you are not a doctor so don’t try to diagnosis anything.

Take all of your new found knowledge and talk to them. Let them know why you think they are depressed. Having them understand what they are going through is a disease could help them in their recovery.

Do not demand that they get help. Try to influence them the best way you can. If you are too pushy, it could cause them to completely shut down. Of course, the first sign of ******* you should take them to an emergency medical expert.

Tell them that you will find a doctor for them. Maybe offer to watch their kids while they go to an appointment. Cook dinner or take them to lunch. Dot lie to them by saying “I know what you are going through” if you don’t. Just tell them you want them to get better.

Abhishek Agarwal asked:




It is true that self-help seminars and workshops can do a lot to help you get a better self esteem. It is also true that going to a life coach or a counselor or psychologist for training can work well for some.

However, the only thing that can accompany you wherever you go is self-help books, and there are many available on the market by renowned authors. Since the problems of low self esteem are not predominant in America alone, but all around the world, it should not be too hard for you to get your hands on a good book, wherever you may be.

Self-help books need not always be on increasing self esteem directly. One look through a book shop’s self-help section will show that you can buy books on hobbies like photography and cooking, and on personal help like doing better at relationships and at work. All these will however help you with better self esteem in the long run. So, there is a self-help book for you, whatever the goals that you set for your self may be.

As human beings, we are superior to all other living things on the planet and one of the things that prove this is our ability to effect change on our surroundings. So do get one on whatever it is that you would like to change, and put what you learn from these books into affect.

Soon you will see a positive change in your life, and the feelings of accomplishment that come with this can work wonders for your self-image. So many self-help books have been published to date that it is not a problem finding one on whatever topic you may have in mind. In fact you may face a bigger problem selecting one or two books out of the dozens to choose from.

They are a great thing to carry if you travel a lot. Not only do they help you pass your time constructively they are easy to carry and store. As sophisticated and miniature that palmtop computers have gotten today, the feel of a good book in your hands can never be replaced by a computer, and any one accustomed to handling books will confirm that.

We may get so preoccupied in our day to day problems that it is not always easy to take out the time to attend a self improvement seminar or lecture. But we can all at least take out the time and money to get a good self-help book. After all, it is for our own improvement that we do this, so do take the time and effort to get your hands on a book of this sort.

Don Cooper asked:




Today everyone is looking for self-help books. These books generate millions of dollars of income for those that write them. And in some cases leave the ones that read them more confused than ever.

Society is looking for answers to various life questions. Looking for answers for things such as relationships. (Something I found I wasn’t very good at.) Other topics such, as finances, addictions, child raring, business advice, and happiness. And whatever else seems to be troubling them at the moment.

When we are experiencing difficulties in our life we turn to the book of the month looking for the answer to our problem. We read and apply the principles to our daily life. I think in the beginning it seems to help, we think wow! This is really working for me. Then usually we run into a bump in the road that wasn’t covered in the book. Then we either go by another book to try find a new answer. Or, we just give up. Figuring this is the way it has to be.

I can only relate to this in my brief experience at wanting to be a horse trainer. I wanted to be a colt starter/western horse trainer. So, I started reading everything I could get my hands on about training horses. Soon I was attempting in real life. Applying all these newly read about methods on real horses. For the most part I was successful with the starting of the colts. I was able to get them to accept the saddle, and then the rider with not too much trouble. Only the occasional problem, and usually I would find a way to work through it.

But then as I tried to expand these young horses minds, I found it to become much more difficult to follow the books as written. It seemed that know matter how good a horseman the person that wrote the book was there was always something missing. Some step that was left out, or this horses particular personality didn’t blend with this training method. So eventually I just decided I started way to late in life to learn everything that a successful trainer needs to know.

But the point of this is, even the best author may not experience everything needed to accomplish the task in some cases. I think that applies to self-help as well. A person goes along fine until they find that one situation that wasn’t covered. Leaving them dangling. Not knowing which way to turn.

I guess I have screwed up most everything in my life, at least once, if not multiple times. I have failed in marriage, raring kids, business, many things, and of course training horses. I too, have searched and searched for the answers.

One day I woke up, with the help from this little voice inside. Turns out that little voice was the Holy Spirit. I was really down on my situation, and myself. Next thing you know I was off searching again. But this time I was searching for a church. I new everything else I tried didn’t work. Maybe it was time to give God a try.

So with the help of my wife, who had wanted to do this previously I might add. We began looking for a church. Now I had been raised in a church, but I have to admit I didn’t pay much attention. Thank the Lord, my wife had. With her experience she taught me what to look for, a good bible teaching church that emphasized Jesus.

I was still skeptical that this would be of any help. Finally we found a church that met the criteria, and the people seemed very caring. We decided to stay. One Sunday I attended alone, and something came over me when the Pastor made the altar call. I began to weep uncontrollably, and like a piece of steel drawn to a powerful magnet I found myself heading for the altar. I accepted Jesus into my heart to be my savior. This was the first step. Then a few weeks later I was baptized in water. Step two complete.

Now I wish I could tell you that everything changed from that point on. I think in my weak mind I thought it would. I thought Life would automatically get better. No assembly required kind of thing. After all he is the creator of the all things. Well how wrong was I. After a few months, and still experiencing bad things that lead me to this in the first place. I just quit again.

I stopped going to church, but I still seemed to long for God. I did continue to discuss it, and to read the word. I still believed that God could change things. I just don’t know why I quit. I just did.

Finally about two years later I realized that I had wasted nearly 30 years of my life. My marriage to a wonderful woman was struggling still. Because, I didn’t really know how to love anyone other than myself. My finances were a wreck. I was a guy that let everyone think I had it together. Reality is I don’t know squat, about anything. I tried this, and that. Everything I tried just backfired on me. I finally realized that I was just living one big lie.

Anyway, all that was going on led me back to church. This time I started getting involved. Started reading the bible, and studying the word. Even though things still weren’t changing at a rate I would like I have seen, I stayed with it. Two years after going back I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Step three complete.

With the revealing of step three you have probably figured out that the loving church we found was Pentecostal. But, any church that teaches the word of God as written, and teaches Jesus will is just as good.

You are probably thinking how in the world did we get from self-help books to baptism in the Holy Spirit. Well because I finally have begun to understand that man, does not have the answers. I want to share that with everyone I can. So writing this is a way to do that.

Through Bible studies, reading the word, and praying over it. I am beginning to see that the answer to all of our questions, and problems are in the word of God. I haven’t found all the answers yet. But I have found that the ones I have found have worked in my life, and continue to work without fail.

I am a slow study. So I am still learning. Something that someone in a bible study class just the other day said really clicked the light bulb on for me. When God starts working with us, and we start accepting his working with us. It is like peeling a onion. We first peel the skin off to get to the good part to eat. Then we put it away a while. And when we come back to it we have to peel another layer off to get to good eatable part again.

This is the same process God uses with us. He first peels off a layer that gets us to surrender to him. Then as we can handle it he comes back and peels another layer off to get to the good parts. Each time he see’s we are getting it, he comes back and peels another layer of our undesirable self off, and teaches us a new way to make our selves better.

This process works for everything in our lives. I told you I was selfish, and unable to love anyone other than myself. I thought I new how to love someone, but I never really learned. God is teaching me a layer at time that to truly love someone as he loves me, and as my wife loves me, I have to put myself aside. I have to learn to put others needs above my own. This is a slow process. It is a process of reading the word, listening to others with more experience, and allowing the Holy Spirit to do the teaching. That can be hard for someone who has lived as I have. Manipulating my way through life. But the answers are right there in Gods word, the Bible.

I have not learned it all, and will never. But, what I have learned so far really works. God will communicate with us through his Holy Spirit and teach us whatever we seek. We just have to learn to put ourselves aside to hear him. And then carry out what he instructs. It is just like reading those self-help books with one great big difference. When we turn to the Bible, we not only get the words to read, but we also get the author with us all the time to ask as many questions of as we want.

Matthew 7, verses 7 &8 promises us this: 7″Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

The greatest knowledge in the universe is open to us through this promise of God our father. When we pray over our troubles, and situations. Seeking his answer, asking his advice, he truly will open the doors we knock on. When he opens the door at the sound of the knock there will be an answer. An answer that can deliver us, restore us, and heal us from whatever situation we find our selves in.

I could go on and on about this. I get very excited when it comes to God, and how he teaches us. But time right now won’t allow it. Maybe he will inspire me to keep writing on this subject, and even do a book on it. But for right now I just want you to know whatever you are up against. I repeat whatever! The Bible is the only self-help book you need. You probably don’t even have to go out and buy it, you probably have one right there at home. But if you do it will be the best money you ever spent to fix your problems. Unlike the other books that leave you hanging at times. This one comes with 24/7 support that will never leave you. All you have to do is seek, ask, and knock. The truth will be revealed, and another layer can be peeled away making you the kind of person God intended you to be. Righteous, and prosperous.

Renata Nyleve asked:




Prolonged sadness or popularly known as depression is factually quite rampant in a number of countries, especially in the United States, nearly 9.5% of the total population of the US have this problem. Nonetheless, only few of them may be treated and so depression along with its ill effects is continually bothering some people.

Depression is apparently a simple illness to cure but truly, it takes much more than laughter medicine to really treat this illness. Continuing visits to a psychologist or a behavior therapist must be done, also at the same time taking medicines prescribed by the doctor. These drugs however are considerably not cheap. The quantity of suffering that the individual experiences as caused by depression is already an adequate reason for some to begin noticing the illness throughout the different treatments that are currently available.

Depression usually may easily take a person’s ability to function normally on their everyday activities and one’s normal actions, an individual’s zest for living can easily and quickly dissipate as a result of the illness. And in the position of a person’s cheery disposition is precisely an individual who hates his own self, a being with no self-confidence at all, isolating himself from anyone and really doesn’t care about life anymore.

In addition, an individual going through depression will eventually be not the only one who will suffer from such serious illness, people around him will surely follow suit as well. As they see the person walk growingly along the rocky road without bothering anyone or anything anymore, it is most likely that depression will not just ruin one’s own relationships but the afflicted person’s loved ones as well.

However, this should not be taken as a problem because people who are depressed are in fact lucky enough because there are numerous depression treatments which can be taken to help a person go along the course of suffering a destructive mental condition.

Basically, depression treatment begins with the patient’s acknowledgement of his illness. It will be much easier not just for the doctor to treat depression and search for an appropriate treatment if the patient could just be honest with himself.

Like anti-depressant drugs, various depression medications for all psychotherapy sorts could be promising enough to be a great depression treatment. Surely, the patient together with his family will get the best result taking such depression treatments.

A popular kind of depression treatment known as psychotherapy comprise a short-term program of therapy sessions, normally ranges from 10 to 20 weeks, effective enough to really be able to attain considerable results for the patient. This kind of depression treatment helps the patient by slowly making the individual open up and talk more about his feelings, the cause of his problems, and the cause of his illness. Healthy communication between the patient and the cognitive therapist is the best depression treatment that will help the patient by gradually making him talk and discuss the things he had been keeping inside all along.

A lot of medications available for depression are indeed great for treating the patient to control his mood swings, to help the patient sleep better, and more so, be much pleasant to the people surrounding him.

The necessary action to take on depression is to visit a behavioral therapist as soon as possible before the condition worsens. The visits and check ups needed must be regular since depression requires to be addressed in its early stage. Care and attention from professionals, relations, family, and friends are essential and will surely go a long way for a successful depression treatment and such contributions from these people must not be treated a little less.

Peter John Granger asked:




Guilt is an emotion that few of us like to feel or even admit that we carry – but it is the single most damaging emotion that we have. It destroys our relationships and our success as well as robbing us of our happiness in life. We must understand and let go of our guilt if we are to reach our full potential in life.

As a baby or infant we are totally dependent on our parents for our needs – sustenance, security and very importantly, love. If we have any sense that these needs are not met, perhaps due to our parents emotional, health or own relationship problems, then we will feel that something is lacking. We can summarize this as the amount of bonding we experience in our early formative years – the lower the quality of bonding in our original family, the more likely we are to believe that love is scarce and even more critically that we lack love. The heartbreak and traumas around unmet needs in our original families can cause us to draw two very damaging conclusions:

1) My parents failed me

It is fairly easy to see that if our needs have not been met, we will feel let down. We end up feeling resentful towards our parents and may then blame them for their shortcomings and our problems in life.

2) I failed my parents

This second conclusion is much more surprising and destructive because it is the source of huge amounts of guilt. The amount that we feel we have been let down in our relationship with our parents is balanced by the amount we believe we have failed them. This is one of the most important things we can ever learn about relationships. Even as children we take on a great responsibility for the quality of our relationships, particularly with our parents and siblings. If anything is going wrong in the family we will tend to blame ourselves.

Both these conclusions, usually held subconsciously create guilt and this can become accentuated later in life as we blame ourselves for letting other people down, say in romantic relationships or work situations. Not only do we fell guilty for not being good enough, but we also take on all our family’s emotional pain and guilt that they have not been able to deal with in their lives. You can see that guilt comes from a horrible tangle of misunderstanding about relationships!

The famous psychoanalyst Freud provided us with another concept – Oedipal guilt. Based on the Greek myth of Oedipus, where a son killed his father, and married his mother. Although such relationships are difficult to accept, given their societal taboos, most people are familiar with cases where a child is very closely attached to the parent of the opposite ***. When this happens the other parent feels excluded and that they have lost the love of their partner. This sets up a competitive triangle in which all parties have deep, suppressed guilt. This is felt strongly (for instance) where a son is guilty for having stolen his father from his mother. The same thing can happen between fathers and daughters. Many psychologists believe that the experience of being part of a triangle as children is replayed in our adult relationships in the form of affairs.

With such a potentially huge amount of guilt, it is not surprising that we move out into our world with low self-esteem – feeling we have been bad and don’t deserve to receive life’s riches – particularly love. These are very unpleasant sensations so we typically behave in ways that deny them and later we may hide them entirely from our conscious awareness. Unfortunately the low self-worth and guilt is still present in our unconscious memory and can easily sabotage our lives.

Although we made these choices about our self-worth many years ago, guilt acts as a backdrop to our adult lives. Guilt really is a terrible trap and one that most people are unaware they have. It manifests itself through a variety of thoughts, attitudes and negative behaviors that all try to compensate for the guilty feelings inside – essentially smokescreens to hide our guilt from the people around us and even ourselves. You will know you have layers of guilt, if your life is not full of success, loving relationships and a sense of peace and fulfillment.

The key to healing guilt and low self-esteem is to understand what was happening in your original family, accept that you made mistaken choices about your self-worth and guilt. To do this, try to accept that your parents were doing their very best for you given their own circumstances. They loved you dearly but there may have been times when they struggled to express this adequately or when life’s challenges made things difficult for them. Above all you must find a way of forgiving yourself and the people around you for what happened all those years ago. As you forgive and rediscover your innocence you will learn to love yourself – then your life will take great leaps forward!

Rachel Harding asked:




The biggest problem with depression is how it affects the lives of those who live or work with the person with the condition. Doctors now know there are various forms, each with its own individual characteristics. The cause is often, but not always, about issues that have not been rectified, all of us occasionally become depressed over certain events. Getting professional help as soon as the problem is recognized is an important step to help stop the condition getting worse, it is also important to discover just what has caused the problem in the fist place.

It is difficult going through life and not experiencing sadness or feeling low but these things normally pass in time. A person is not necessarily diagnosed with depression just because they feel this way. Many people have problems caused by personal issues in relationships or family situations. If you’re having difficulties in dealing with an issue and you are stressed out, you will need to find a way out of it. In many incidences like this, a person believes that if they ignore the problem it will just resolve itself but this rarely happens, this can be unhealthy for the mind and body.

Sometimes it might be a person’s career that is causing the problem with a stressful workplace or tension with colleagues that make normal functioning difficult, it is not uncommon for this condition to result in panic attacks, so outside help is often needed to end the situation. The situation can become so bad that some people are barely able to function either at home or at work. When they become so unhappy they cannot face even going to work a professional must intervene to end the mental conflict. It is also possible that certain medications can cause chemical imbalances that create a feeling of depression. Where side-effects have created these feelings where no real problem exists.

Usually, as soon as the medication is stopped, the chemical imbalance will correct itself and the person will return to normal but they still need to make their doctor aware of the situation and to keep a check. A worse situation happens where despite the best efforts of everyone involved, the reason for the person’s depression cannot be found. This type of situation makes resolving the issues all the more difficult. If there are issues that are hard to work through then help will be needed to resolve these issues. When this happens the person cannot associate the condition with the cause.

A difficult form to recognize and therefore diagnose is Bipolar Disorder or manic Depression as it is commonly known. Unfortunately, new studies have found that owing to new overlap theories it can actually take up to five years before a person could be correctly diagnosed as suffering from this condition. This is not normally something that will just go away on its own so it requires the patient to take a certain amount of control and seek professional help in curing what is generally a long term condition. Often, once the depressed person makes this first move towards medical help, there is a sense that something might finally lift. If it is having a detrimental affect on your life then once something positive is done there will be a sense of relief which is the first step to becoming cured.

Mark C Roberts asked:




In order to overcome jealousy, you have to understand its source. If you have the tendency to get jealous, then you are most likely often miserable. That’s because jealousy is not a productive emotion. It serves no purpose, but instead can tear a relationship apart. Overcoming jealousy requires identifying the source of the jealous thoughts and then learning a way to change them into normal expressions of love and caring.

Measuring Your Jealous Tendencies

If you find yourself frequently getting jealous, chances are you are often unhappy. You probably worry about what others are doing or accomplishing all the time and then compare others to yourself. You might feel constant worry about whether you can trust your spouse or the person you are in an ongoing relationship with. You probably find yourself wishing you were more like someone else instead of enjoying who you are. The constant comparing and worrying can take a toll on your life and your relationships which is why you have decided it is time to overcome jealousy.

Sabotaging Yourself

Jealousy is an emotion that sabotages a life. It causes your confidence to be compromised while also making the important person in your life feel uncomfortable, if not angry. Jealousy is an emotion that is not just limited to a romantic relationship though. You can feel jealous of friends, family and co-workers too. People who have a tendency to be jealous have developed a way of thinking that makes them feel insecure and so they focus on finding ways to prove their self worth. To overcome jealousy, you need to turn your thoughts around so that you learn to value yourself and your own unique talents and characteristics.

Harnessing the Imagination

To overcome jealousy problems with self esteem must be addressed. When a persons self esteem is low he or she will spend a lot of time comparing themselves to others in order to validate their personal value. A confident person can overcome jealousy tendencies by appreciating their own value and abilities. A person lacking in confidence will continually look for ways to build themselves up by finding fault with others.

Measuring Your Personal Value

When you decide you are tired of always being miserable because you don’t measure up to others then it is time to stop measuring. Jealousy is one of those negative emotions you can feel for no reason. Overcoming jealousy requires finding a way to build your confidence without looking to others for comparison. Self hypnosis can teach you how to erase the negative thoughts about yourself that lead to negative behavior.

Turning Off the Automatic Thinking

Self hypnosis can help you turn off the automatic thinking that is telling you everyone else is more competent or better looking than you. You can learn through hypnotherapy how to switch your thinking into more positive thoughts that build your own confidence instead of tearing it down. The result is you can stop those jealous thoughts from ever entering your mind in the first place.