Abhishek Agarwal asked:




Bad Habits control your life. They can turn you into a failure at work, school, also relationship. It is very essential to tackle this issue before it is too late. Self help books are best. A few are given below.

The Twelve Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back: Overcoming the Behavior Patterns That Keep You From Getting Ahead by Waldroop and Butler. Focal point of this book is workplace bad habits . It tells how to identify your own bad habits. It also teaches new ways to connect people. They imply that doing this will guide you to go ahead and flourish in your career.

A book on all habits jointly authored by James Claiborne, Ph.D. & Cherry Pedrick, R.N. It is titled Habit Change workbook: How to Overcome Bad Habits & Form Good Ones. The book shows a related-behavioral method to bad habits. Psychological principles are used to get to the base of bad habits. Then, steps are given in details to overcome them. It also gives details of a group of people having bad habits and how each one is overpowering them.

What to Do when you don’t know what to do :Bad Habits & Addictions. This is a short book by Henry Cloud & John Townsend offering a religious viewpoint to those who feel overpowered by their faults. It advices on how to overcome the addictions.

One book is some what heavy understanding on the topic of addictions. However, it gives some sound psychological advice. Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward. Book is co-authored by James O. Prochaska, John Norcross, & Carlo DiClemente. This book is a serious reading. The authors worked together to compile a system of dealing with undesirable behaviors involving six steps, discussed in detail.

If your child needs assistance, the book titled Good kids, Bad Habits: The Real Age Guide to bringing up Healthy Children may help. In this book, the author Jennifer Tratchenberg discusses children’s various habits as they grow up. She perceives as to how these habits can pursue them in life later. Then, the writer also guides the parents to start a plan that is designed particularly for their child. This might help the child to overcome bad habits.

Of course, only an “Idiot’s Guide?” can conclude a subject properly and author Suzanne LeVert has turned up a Complete Idiot’s Guide to overcome Bad Habits. This is a book with a wonderful introduction on bad habits. Simultaneously, it is done with a sense of wittiness and sincerity. Scanning this book may not assist you to overcome bad habit. However, it will definitely put you in the proper mood to do it.

Books of self help are very practical tools for overcoming bad habits. They also help those used to comprehend the problem and find how to expel them. It is always better to go in for another opinion. Reading books like these on bad habits can offer you tips that would never even occur to you otherwise.

Garold Larson asked:




When you look in the mirror are you happy with who you see? If you are like most people you will tend to see your own faults over your qualities. It’s amazing how critical and judgmental we can be with ourselves. It can **** the vitality and energy out of our life if we are constantly chipping away at who we are. It’s like trying to blow up a balloon with a pin hole in it. It takes constant effort. Our incessant internal criticism and judgment deflates our self-esteem faster than we can fill it.

A certain amount of self-analysis is good and healthy. If not, we would never make any improvements in our lives. We need to examine ourselves from time to time and determine the areas we need to improve on. However, this can be overdone to the point of being hyper-critical and counter-productive. You become your own judge, jury and jailer.

What are the causes of Self-Criticism?

1. Comparing ourselves with others. We are great at putting ourselves down because we know ourselves the best. We are intimately and painfully aware of each of our faults. The trouble is, when we look at others we tend to see the polished and refined exterior and are unaware of the flaws and internal conflicts that they battle with each day. We tend to compare the worst in ourselves with the best in others. We can never win that game.

2. Unrealistic expectations of ourselves. It’s good to set goals and strive to make improvements in our lives. We should strive for excellence. However, some of us mistake perfection for excellence. When the goals we set are so high and out of reach for the average human being then we set ourselves up for failure.

3. Not realizing life is a process. Journeys are accomplished one step at a time. Bodies are grown one cell at a time. Buildings are built one brick at a time. These are all processes that are accomplished in a gradual, procedural way.

Imagine driving by a building under construction. What do you see? Half-built walls, pallets of bricks, scaffolding, unpainted surfaces, weeds and debris – it’s not a pretty sight. Imagine criticizing the building because of these flaws. That would be unreasonable because we know it isn’t finished yet. It’s under construction. Yet we fail to consider that our lives are not finished yet either. We are still under construction. Of course everything isn’t in perfect order yet. We are still in the middle of this process called “Life.”

What are the consequences of Self-Criticism?

1. Incorrect vision of ourselves. When we continually focus on our flaws and imperfections we get to the point of identifying ourselves as our flaws and imperfections. That’s who we become in our mind. Instead of thinking “I have a weight problem” we instead think “I’m fat.” It becomes who we are.

2. The “Why Try?” attitude. Since we identify ourselves with our defects and believe that’s who we are, then we feel like “what’s the use” in trying to change since that’s “just the way I am.” If you see yourself as a zebra then why try to change your stripes. It’s simply who you are.

3. Saps energy. It takes energy and effort to be constantly judging ourselves. Experiencing discouragement and disappointment in ourselves is like dragging around a heavy weight. It wears on you and drains your energy.

How can we overcome Self-Criticism?

1. Pay attention to what’s going on in your head. Make an effort throughout the day to be aware of how you talk to yourself in your mind. What are you saying?

“I’m such a loser”
“I’m so ugly”
“I never have enough money”
“I’m so fat”
“I’m such an idiot”

Be aware of these negative jabs at yourself and rein them in. Take control of your thoughts and shut down the negative ones.

2. Lower your unrealistic expectations. Give yourself a break. It’s okay if you’re not perfect. You’re not done yet. You’re still under construction as a person. I’m not talking about lowering your personal convictions or your personal moral standards – just your unrealistic expectations of yourself.

3. Focus on your good points. Start noticing what you are doing right. Focus on the positive things you accomplish every day. Make a list of all the things you are doing well and give yourself a pat on the back. Notice even small steps of forward progress.

T.S. Eliot wrote:
What is this self inside us, this silent observer,
Severe and speechless critic, who can terrorize us
And urge us on to futile activity
And in the end, judge us still more severely
For the errors into which his own reproaches drove us?

When you truly overcome self-criticism you free your mind and energy to move forward in your life. You are not stuck in Paralysis by Analysis. You become at peace with who you are and where you are headed. Remember, there is only one person in the world that you are compelled to live with – and that is with yourself. It’s best you both get along!

Thank you.

Mihir shah asked:


I have 25 year old Introvert with History of 5 years of Sexual abuse and 4 years of being Picked on …and a career failure with few friends who treat me as Innocent and a doormat because i m nice