What is the difference between being practical and having low-self esteem?
November 14th, 2009 | 
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Americannah qυеѕtіοnеd:
Example: I’m overweight, аnd ѕіnсе οf thіѕ, I don’t even try flirting wіth οr manslaughter mу time οn guys whο аrе preppy ѕіnсе common sense hаѕ shown mе whаt thеу lіkе. Bυt, whеn I tried explaining thіѕ tο mу friend ѕhе doesn’t seem tο gеt іt аnd keeps insisting I hаνе low-self admire, bυt I disagree.
Example: I’m overweight, аnd ѕіnсе οf thіѕ, I don’t even try flirting wіth οr manslaughter mу time οn guys whο аrе preppy ѕіnсе common sense hаѕ shown mе whаt thеу lіkе. Bυt, whеn I tried explaining thіѕ tο mу friend ѕhе doesn’t seem tο gеt іt аnd keeps insisting I hаνе low-self admire, bυt I disagree.
Sο whаt іѕ thе dіffеrеnсе between being negative (οr having low-self admire) аnd being matter-οf-fact?
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you would be matter-of-fact if your estimate is accurate. if would have low-self admire if you’re under-estimating yourself.
Excellent question. It’s kind of like what is the difference in having a high self admire and being arrogant. I reckon it’s all about balance and common sense. All has strengths and faults and the balance is in recognizing what those strengths and faults are. Then you can choose what to do with them.
I reckon you’re basically avoiding situations you don’t like. I see it as neither negative or positive, but matter-of-fact, as you say. But, while telling her, you made it sound like you already felt rejected. So she’s interpreting this as low self-admire. The key here is to describe it differently, e.g., “I’m not going to waste my time with preppy guys since frankly, I’m not into that type.”
yes, that is called “settling” and it is a matured sign of low self-admire. if “preppy” is what you idealize or desire but feel youre not up to par, then its not practicality at all. matter-of-fact is not blowing your entire paycheck on a pair of shoes. dont lose sight of yourself!
Throw matter-of-fact out the window. You are perplexing it with something all collectively different. Now start with flirting, throw that out with matter-of-fact. Now you have a starting top. You are never waisting your time by socializing with another being. Being social will lead to friendships and in time associations with other public. Don’t set your sights on one individual, pretty much what you see is the public act and not the real person. Collect a circle of friends and contacts and get to know them all. You may find that preppy is not for you anyhow. Don’t shut your own door, if someone else shuts it they are probably not worth it. Excellent luck.
I would substitute “being realistic” for “being matter-of-fact.”
Just between us, my experience with what I refer to as “breed standard” women, particularly conventionally gorgeous women, is that paradoxically, they tend to have shallow personalities. If a girl learns, at age 4 or 5, that all she needs to get what she wants from a guy is to smile and giggle, she will seldom learn to develop a personality or any deeper social skills.
Occasionally, I have questioned a really gorgeous woman, “Do you mind if I question you a personal question?” If no, then, “Does it ever get in your way, being that gorgeous?”
Sometimes they say something like, “Yes, other women shun me since they take upon yourself I’m stuck up.” Or, “Men sometimes do really goody things to get my attention.”
Similarly, preppy types are AWFULLY shallow, especially ones with athletic skills. I call them the “one millimeters” since it describes the depth of their personalities.
If that’s a rationalization, I’ll cop a plea. Rationalizations are more vital than ***. I mean, have you ever gone a week without rationalizing?
Low self admire means about the same as what we used to call “missing self-respect.” It means that you won’t attempt anything. In order for me to try for a prize, I need to know that the prize is worth working for.
I’m pretty sure that the last paragraph is what you’re looking for.