It Happens To The Best Of Us

Menopause! It seems that doctors are giving Hormone Replacement Therapy another look. This article looks at the possible heart healthy benefits for women using HRT when timed properly. It is a quick, important, informative read.

Over The Top Rewards

The Chicago Tribune recently reported that a Chicago 7th grader received a car as a reward for perfect attendance. This is apparently not unusual for the school as they have been using high ticket items such as iPods and vacations to bribe children and their parents to attend school on a regular basis. The items are donated which answers how the Board of Ed affords this practice.

A more important question is what is the long term impact of rewarding a 12 year old for 3 months perfect attendance by giving them with high ticket items such as cars and vacations? Does it set up an unrealistic expectation for minimal effort with maximum reward. At 12 children are quite impressionable and are not necessarily able to view this event in the context of how unrealistic it is as a general expectation.

So in the future when efforts a met with by comparison mundane rewards, will these children's efforts and desire to succeed wain? Remember this girl won a car but she is part of a student body that has been watching minimal effort be rewarded with maximum return. What is the cumulative effect on the children? Is this a lesson that we would like our children to learn in the long run? As parents these are questions we need to ask ourselves and our school boards when making choices our children.

Lastly with an attendance average of 89.4 percent, the district reportedly receives 18 million in state funding for each percentage point increase. This begs the question; Is implementing this practice without a clear understanding of the long term impact on the children, even ethical? Negatively affecting children to raise money for the district, is not in the children's best interest. The Board says they will not apologize for their policy, one that they see no problem with. Obviously there is an issue within the system itself. The solution this board chose is a quick fix that impacts the outcome, not the problem, again I ask "Is this the lesson we want to be teaching our children?" The answer should be a resounding "No!"

Kindergarten Blues

It is the end of the school year and Kindergarten children are moving up to the big time! First grade, full day! This is what we as moms have been waiting for right? Liberation! September starts full days of school for our children and more free time for us! However, this enthusiasm is not always the case for moms. At this time of year it is not uncommon as children finish up the term, for moms to get a touch of the blues.

Most don’t talk about it, it is really not a huge deal, but it is there, the realization that the special time that we spent with our children as infants is officially over. One would think that time comes with the start, of kindergarten, and it does. However, in the case of mom’s who’s children attend half day classes and will in September attend full day, this is really the end of the road. It can be a very sad time and moms going through this should be aware that they are not alone. I see it in my office as well as amongst my peers. It is natural to grieve the end of a special period of time before moving onto to the next one.

So for those of you, who are having this experience, take heart. You are not loosing your mind, or suffering from hormone imbalance. You are just sad, plain old, garden variety, sad. Though it may be the end of a special time, it is the beginning of a new one as well. So don’t be afraid to take a look back feel sad and relish the old, but then remember to look excitedly ahead to the new, because with the ending of each stage starts a whole new one, filled with all the joy, tears, laughs, challenges, and lessons that raising children brings.

Bitchy Mom? Not Always

I used to think I was a bitchy mom. It seemed like every day a few minutes after I picked up my daughter from school, I would be fighting with her. And I also thought I wasn’t a morning person because before long I was irritated and wrangling with my daughter. Quite recently I realized, I’m not bitchy, my daughter is. One day after arguing with her I pointed out,” you know I am not in this mood when I come to pick you up”. Luckily I had my four year old with me to validate that. This is something that happens as a result of your requests that if not met causes you to become irritable and sulky. We’ll this morning I had the same experience and pointed out to her that I had started the morning in quite a good mood but here we were squabiling again. At that point I told her that I would not be spending my morning this way and I was off to the shower.

I think as moms it is easy for us to assume that our parenting skills or lack of are the cause of all that our children succeed in and fail at. When the truth is, we do the best we can, they are who they are, and somewhere in the middle is where our influence and their personality meet.

Are AA Meetings a Good Place for Kids?

You may find my answer surprising. Check out my recent article on Momlogic.com

Artificial Colors and ADHD Is There a Link?

The British Medical Journal is calling for a trial on eliminating artificial food additives from the diets of children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Studies have shown an increase in hyperactivity amongst normal children after consuming normal amounts of food containing the additives. ADHD is currently treated with medication, behavioral modification therapy, and diet modification. Professor Andrew Kemp from the University of Sydney Australia, questions why removing additives from a child's diet is considered an alternative treatment, and not a front line treatment for ADHD.
Professor Kemps argument makes sense when you consider the growing number of children using medication these days. When you considered that most food dyes are petroleum and coal based products, you have to ask yourself "Do I really want my kid eating foods in all these day glow colors, anyway?"

Ever Lose It In Front Of the Kids

If you've ever lost it in front of the kids, cut yourself a break and check out some of my tips on Momlogic.com Also here on couselingmom, check out my article under parenting "When Your Kids See You Cry".